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Peer Pressure

I remember reading from Let Kid Be Kids about peer pressure and I thought that I will cross the bridge when I get there and thought that I will have time to prepare as my son is just 4.

Then this happened.

My son has the longest hair. Past his waist when it is wet. We had never cut it since he was born because of this reason. But we were planning on cutting it as I gave up on the dream that I will go home. I dont think I will ever go home ever now. So I am okay with him cutting his hair. We are going to, we are just waiting for spring break really so that we can do it all together as its a monumental event for us. 4 almost 5 years worth of hair!

Before the break my son opened up about how he wants his hair to be like his classmates *insert some names here* as its short and a boy hair. I told him we will when the break is on. I am also surprise as he doesnt want to cut his hair before.

Then its settled. The next day he is at it again.

And I promise again that when the break starts we will cut it. Then he said 'good then *classmates name* will like me already'.

Peer pressure.

A 4 year old not liking his hair because someone from his class doesnt like it.

I told him that he shouldnt cut his hair just because people wants him to. He nodded but I dont think he got it that well. How am I going to explain to my 4 year old son that he is cool whatever haircut he's got and he doesnt need validation from a classmate.

I need to learn how to talk about this now. I think that if peer pressure starts this early on there will be more of it in the future when he is older and his peer has more impact on him already.

We are trying to look for a kid barber and we found one and we will go next week. I dont know now if getting a haircut for him is vowing down to peer pressure. But we are defintely planning on it before.




( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Kim Carberry
Mar. 30th, 2015 10:24 am (UTC)
His hair is beautiful....I can understand why you have waited to get it cut....
Peer pressure is a horrible thing! It's such a shame that he feels to be accepted he needs short hair....Good luck with the haircut x
Mar. 30th, 2015 10:59 am (UTC)
This really is a tricky one and it gets harder as they get older, sadly. If he wants to do it then I would but make sure you take LOTS of photographs and keep the hair!
Mar. 30th, 2015 12:27 pm (UTC)
your photo
Your son is adorable and if He wants his hair cut then I would let him ~ All of us want to feel we fit it and belong ~ I would talk with his teacher and see if it is 'peer pressure' or maybe your son is at the age where they begin to define themselves as male/female and thus wants to be like 'Dad' and other males around him (who have short hair) ~ Just my thoughts ~ Society socializes us very quickly in to 'conforming' to the norm ~ Difficult balance of individuality and the group ~

Lots of hugs to all ~

Happy Week to you,
artmusedog and carol
Mar. 30th, 2015 12:40 pm (UTC)
Peer pressure is a tough one isn't it, I guess if it is something he also wants then it's OK, maybe his friends were just confirming something, but it is sad that there is any at that age.
Morgan Prince
Mar. 30th, 2015 01:34 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately peer pressure is an issue throughout childhood and into young adulthood. I think all we can do as parents is to try and teach our children to be themselves. It is the best we can hope for. If your son wants his hair cut I'd do it, as you say, you'd already said you were going to. But you're right in explaining that he doesn't need to do it to make others happy. xx
Mar. 31st, 2015 01:50 pm (UTC)
I think there's more to it then just peer pressure. It's also about wanting to fit in and belong. I went to a lot of different schools as a child because we moved regularly and I never felt like I belonged. I would want to do things the other kids did and wear what they wore, not because they wanted me to but to feel a part of the group. It would be hard answering questions about why this or why that and being too young to understand enough myself to even answer things like why I had changed schools. I can imagine it would be hard for your boy to answer questions about why his hair is so long. Humans instinctively find differences scary and uncomfortable and children would feel this but not really understand it.
Anyway that's just what I think.
Sara Murray (mumturnedmom)
Mar. 31st, 2015 02:08 pm (UTC)
Peer pressure is going to be an issue all through his childhood. As long as you continue to talk to him, and help him to understand that it's okay to not always do what everyone else is doing, and that you will always support him, then you're doing all you can. If he has asked to have his hair cut, then I do think that you need to do it, although it sounds as if you had already made that decision anyway. Hugs x #thetruthabout
Mar. 31st, 2015 06:31 pm (UTC)
from Jenny @ Unremarkable Files
Does your son really love having his hair long? If he does, then he needs to know he can be proud of something even if nobody else likes it. But if he doesn't really care one way or the other, then maybe getting a hair cut would be kind of like how we adults put on clothes instead of PJs when leaving the house: even though it's comfortable in pajamas, we don't feel passionately enough about wearing them to flout social conventions about wearing real clothes in public.
Mar. 31st, 2015 07:08 pm (UTC)
I think sometimes we just have to accept that these things happen, whether it is peer pressure or just a natural part of growing up. I remember that our oldest son was a similar age when his long-standing love of all things pink was suddenly replaced by "no, I hate pink - that's for girls". I'm sure it was peer pressure but we were so sad as it had been such a big part of his personality. But he's no less wonderful now even though he's more 'coventional' these days.
Samantha P
Mar. 31st, 2015 07:37 pm (UTC)
Its amazing how quickly they want to start impressing each other and forming cliques and stuff as early as Year R isn't it? I agree with others that if he wants it done then that's probably his decision to make but I understand the significance you've attached to it - don't think this will mean that you'll never go home though hon, this is something you need to separate from those thoughts now. X #thetruthabout
Ickle Pickle (and Mummy)
Apr. 2nd, 2015 07:37 pm (UTC)
He should have his hair however he wants it, but it is tricky to find out why he wants it that way. I think just keep talking to him, you are a great mum x
Apr. 5th, 2015 07:21 pm (UTC)
Wow that will be an event if he has never had a haircut. Save it or you can actually donate his long hair to charity for children that can't grow it. My nephew did that. So it's for a great cause!! Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. Happy Easter! #sharewithme
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )


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