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The Right Path







Its part of my routine to walk in the seafront every morning after my school run. It give me steps for my 10k daily goal and well it just really nice to have some fresh salty air before I start my day of blogging, chores and daydreaming.

Once in a while I would use another path. The Beach Lawns.
This pavement of the lawn is parallel to the seafront promenade but less people walk on it and theres less wind when the sea is stormy as you are protected with lush green on it the side exposed to the sea. A barrier if you want to call it.

Today I found this stone in this path.



And then it brought me to that day when I am lost. All I do is sleep and daydream of home and cry in between.
I would like to call it depression but who I am to say? Since this path had less users I would use this always then to
not be seen and not see people. I dont want interaction then. I am living a quiet life then that when I speak it surprises me to hear
the sound of my own voice.



Then I saw them. The actual first sign of spring for me. Crocuses.




It was so gloomy that day and I remember seeing it from my peripheral vision. I just cant help but look at the only color you can see on the bare wet ground. Basking in the soft raindrops are small flowers. I only have my cellphone and I took photos.
I remember not being happy so I promised that I would go back in the afternoon with a proper camera.

I did and I remember being happy with what I saw.
My son is the only source of sanity then.
Happy is not a feeling that I feel when I am alone wihtout my son.
Seeing that flower is the first time that I smiled by myself.

The days after that I started using my camera again and feeling a wee bit better. I feel more alive.
I cant say that I am healed. The reason for my sadness lives with me in the house so I am still full of rage and sadness. Especially when he would arrive home (?) from work. But I can say that I am SURVIVING.

Surviving is good enough for me now. Surviving is something that I did not see myself doing since September last year.
And surviving is better than being alive but dead inside.

And I am celebrating that survival.

I would want to share with you some photos of blooms that I found in the Beach Lawns.
These blooms are hopefully helping someone out there walking,
looking for something that would be a catalyst to healing or at least survival.










xx


xx

This post is my entry to Worded or Wordless Wednesday Linky!
Why dont you join in and link in your photo post (blog and instagram posts are welcome):

1.Link up photo post, wordless or worded, old and new!
2.Visit other post and share the linky love!
3.You can use my badge below so that other bloggers can join in too!
4.I will RT post! Just tweet me the link @pixiedusk
Glimmer of Hope















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Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs









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Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
Cascia Talbert
May. 8th, 2016 12:57 am (UTC)
It looks like you had a nice walk. Your photos are beautiful.
Purfylle
May. 8th, 2016 03:30 am (UTC)
I'm glad you found a reason to smile. Those flowers are a lot like you, a little bit of bright colour in the gloomy wet.
sarahMo3W
May. 8th, 2016 05:26 am (UTC)
I am so sorry to read that you are feeling down and sad. It's good that the photography is helping you a bit and your photos are beautiful. I hope things improve for you soon.
Debbie Roberts
May. 8th, 2016 05:31 am (UTC)
Hi Merlinda, really beautiful flowers and you know what? It's perfectly fine not to want to talk or interact with people (I will always choose the quieter path). And hopefully little, by little you will realise how special you are too and learn to be happy more often without Sebastian.

xx
Baby Isabella
May. 8th, 2016 07:07 am (UTC)
Beautiful beach lawn photos! You are very talented! Sometimes it's just 'enough' to survive....my mummy goes through periods like this. You sound strong...just keep going, if your outlet is photography then you are doing amazingly well xxx #MySundayPhoto
EssexKate
May. 8th, 2016 07:28 am (UTC)
Beautiful
The flowers are beautiful. I always feel hope when the flowers start appearing in the sun. Some days can be hard, but sometimes when you take the time away from everything you can spend that time healing and see something beautiful
OneDad3Girls
May. 8th, 2016 08:34 am (UTC)
Stunning flower photos, so full of colour

Thank you for linking up
(Anonymous)
May. 8th, 2016 09:31 am (UTC)
A sign perhaps?
A sign perhaps? I love the beautiful nature photos too.
BearandCardigan
May. 8th, 2016 11:09 am (UTC)
Gratitude. I thought that yesterday when seeing the people in Canada losing their homes, their photo's, everything. I have a lot to be thankful for. Enjoy your quiet walks it looks lovely #MySundayPhoto
(Anonymous)
May. 8th, 2016 12:10 pm (UTC)
Stunning photos, Merlinda, and a very honest post. I'm so pleased spring (and taking photos) is helping you feel a bit better. #MySundayPhoto Tara at After The Rain.
SMABLblog
May. 8th, 2016 03:41 pm (UTC)
Always love your photos Merlinda.
I'm so glad you have found something that has sparked the fire in your belly again. Keep interested, keep positive, sending you big hugs x
(Anonymous)
May. 8th, 2016 06:05 pm (UTC)
thankful for the gorgeous weather
This weekend in the UK, the weather warmed up and was so lovely. However, I'm suffering from hay fever now! Cheers !
mummyhereandthe
May. 9th, 2016 08:47 am (UTC)
Gorgeous photos. It always helps having something positive to look forward to I'm glad that this can help you X #mysundayphoto
mummyMess
May. 9th, 2016 01:24 pm (UTC)
You go girl! I am glad that photography and Seb made you smile and helps you along the way. Wag ka palaging malungkot ha, nalulungkot din ako pag sad ka. Hugs to you and Seb.

Love,
Melody and Olivia. xx
sarahjchristie
May. 9th, 2016 09:10 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry you feel so sad, it sounds like you are having a tough time, but keep taking those photos if they are making you feel good about yourself, they are just beautiful you are so talented I always enjoy your photos, keep your chin up lovely lady x
Diaryofanewmom1
May. 10th, 2016 08:12 am (UTC)
Really beautiful captures of flowers and nature.Hope you feel much better now!

Edited at 2016-05-10 08:13 am (UTC)
Jessica Fiorillo
May. 10th, 2016 09:07 am (UTC)
Those flower pics look awesome! So beautifully shot... Thanks for sharing. :)
(Anonymous)
May. 10th, 2016 11:14 am (UTC)
Beautiful photos and colours :-)

Have a bloomintastic week :-)
Patrick weseman
May. 10th, 2016 02:22 pm (UTC)
Very beautiful photos.
VicWelton
May. 10th, 2016 03:02 pm (UTC)
What beautiful flowers Merlinda - I love the vivid blue and yellow one. Totally stunning x
(Anonymous)
May. 10th, 2016 03:39 pm (UTC)
Gorgeous.
Shaz Goodwin
May. 10th, 2016 03:57 pm (UTC)
Such an honest and open post Merlinda. Thank you for sharing.

Healing takes many forms doesn't it and nature helps a lot of us I think.

I always love your photos no matter the subject or perspective.

#MySundayPhoto
alissa apel
May. 10th, 2016 09:55 pm (UTC)
Adventure
It looks like a fun adventure. That stone changed your outlook that day. :)

http://www.anapeladay.com/2016/05/ww-doesnt-fit-linky.html
Joy Mooiweer
May. 11th, 2016 01:11 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear that you've been down, but glad that you've found an outlet in photography, your photos of the flowers are gorgeous!
EmilyJPH
May. 11th, 2016 05:24 pm (UTC)
Love the photos and this post is so timely for me! We lost our 7-year old son back at Christmas. I certainly know the feeling of being alive but dead inside...merely existing. That's my life for sure, which I do my best to hide for my girls. I have thought about starting to walk. Get out more. I will use your post as my motivation. Hugs to you!
Sara Murray (mumturnedmom)
May. 12th, 2016 06:59 pm (UTC)
Stunning photos Merlinda, absolutely beautiful x
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )

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I am a daughter, a sister, wife and a mother! I have a son, Sebastian who is born 2010. I am from the Philippines now living here in the UK. This blog is a place where I rant and rave and share pieces of me!


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