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NO

I am in a relationship where everyday of my right is being dismissed, not listened to. Where my request for freedom and separation is falling on deaf ears. Where my choice is limited to staying with a man that I no longer love because I have nowhere to go.

As a mother of a boy who will eventually become a man who will be in a relationship, the last thing that I want him is to be like the man I am staying with at the moment. I want him to respect people and their choices and I want him to respect the word No.

It is really hard to teach him this because I know that for him to respect NO, I need to respect his NO as well. I need to respect his NO while he still follow what he needs to do in our everyday life. I need to listen to him say 'No Mummy I dont want to eat anymore and I am full'. 'No Mummy I dont want to read my book today as I am tired' even when his definition of tired is running around like a looney around the house. 'No Mummy I dont want to change my school clothes yet as I am playing teacher' even when his playing teacher is actually rolling over a dirty carpet soiling his school uniform that would have still been worn the next day but ...

I need to respect his no.

I am scared that this will make him bratty but he is listening to my No more lately since I mindfully listened to his no. When I would say no to him I would explain why. I want him to know that theres a reason for it. That its for his good. This is why when he say his no he explains his reasons to me as well.

This of course is a long process. And there are situations where I cant let him take the lead. But I am trying my best to listen to his reasons and respect his decisions this early. Even when sometimes I think its futile to teach him the power of no because the one who is teaching it to him (me) is not being listened to by the person who he sees as the most powerful in our house, his father.

Its not going to be easy but I will try my best to raise someone who respects other people's decision because I know how it to be disrecpected and not listened to when I said 'No its over'.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
ericahughes
Nov. 22nd, 2016 12:33 pm (UTC)
Thinking of you. Stay strong. x
m_a_y_f_i_e_l_d
Nov. 30th, 2016 01:30 am (UTC)

Hugs. Hang in there.

Lux G.
Dec. 6th, 2016 02:04 am (UTC)
Stay strong
Oh, that kind of relationship is the worst.
Hope you're alright.

Stay strong. :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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I am a daughter, a sister, wife and a mother! I have a son, Sebastian who is born 2010. I am from the Philippines now living here in the UK. This blog is a place where I rant and rave and share pieces of me!


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