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*2 Rizals


Its seems that everyday its all bad news in here lately. I am not going to bore you with the details. But its hard. Before I go to sleep I would pray if I can just get one good news. Just one good news to get me through the ordeal that I am experiencing. 

AND I GOT IT!

My sister at home is pregnant. She is going to have a baby boy! Suddenly I am busy with chatting with her. She, like me is a nervous first time Mom. It is so weird that we are sisters but our pregnancy is totally different. I have never experienced morning sickness and she did. I don't have dizzy spells. She needs a complete bed rest on some occassions. But we are both anemic =P 

Its bittersweet. Its such a good news and yet I cant totally enjoy it. I wish I am there to be with her because I feel that she needs me. You just feel these things isn't it. We are sisters after all. When I gave birth, it is my sister who stayed with me in the hospital since 8am till the next day (my husband is in the UK). She is the one who saw my son first. I am heavily medicated when I gave birth (i am induced) so though I remember kissing my son and seeing him after I gave birth, its all hazy. While my sister, she saw him and that memory stayed with her of course. She laugh and cried when he saw my son all mucky from fluids and stuff from my tummy for the first time. At home, she would drop by every night after work to see my son. No fail. It has become a part of her routine. Till me and my son flew here.

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Confidence


This wall is as tall as me. The first time he climbed in there he started slow and a wee bit nervous. He has been climbing this wall long enough that I trust him on it now. And he trust himself on it too. You will see it on his face, the familiarity and the confidence. A bit a cautious when he is jumping at the end but he landed safely.

And yes he did about 100x again after =P  

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Almost Spring


One of the happiest moment for me this week is seeing the Cherry Blossoms starting to flower in my fave garden park. And a lot of buds waiting to bloom! I climbed tall rocks just so I can take a close up shot to the first buds. It was windy so its hard to focus but I got few images that are not clear but clear enough for me. As the title, almost spring because though these flowers are already blooming the weather changed it's mind and went back to winter again (yes beast from the East I am looking at you!).

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Tummy Ache


I am going to the clinic/surgery tomorrow to hopefully see a doctor. I have this achy tummy since last December. I was thinking it is going to go away but it just kept on being painful, more painful everyday and night. Especially at night. I also need to pee a lot. I was feeling this for the whole 3 months. I got into depression last Christmas so even if I am feeling tummy ache I still did not do anything about it. Its just that now, the pain can be unbearable and I was thinking it might be something more serious. I am scared to go because I dont want to find out what it is. I dont know how to handle another bad news. I have so much of those. But I will do it today. Because of the pain. Wish me luck, will you please? I can use all the good luck that I can get. 

Getting an appointment is what I am thinking of the whole week. That it my word of the week. 

UPDATE: I got one! Later after lunch. Fingers crossed its nothing serious. 


The Reading Residence




The Week That Was

The week has gone by fast. Now that the half term is over he will go back to school refreshed I hope. He was really tired a week or 2 before the term ended. Reading books which he usually likes became a chore. He started hating doing maths and just seeing numbers makes him stress. So this half term we did not do any assignments or school related stuff. By the middle of the week he went back to reading by himself. Finishing the last few pages of his Harry Potter book and started on the next one. 


We spent the half term hovering around the sea front (Saturday Night Live) and the local park (Bursting With Light) as always. We also went to Bristol for a day out (Half Term Request). And he loves that day to bits and is already requesting for us to go back! The next day we went to the arcade and got Disappointed for not winning.

I was guilty before I started writing this post because I feel like I am a disappointment that I weren't able to bring him anywhere exciting and fun. Then writing everything down made me realized that though we didn't travel a lot we did had fun. Nothing grand but just enough activity and play for him to be ready for another school term. 

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Half Term Request

He really wanted to go to Bristol. Its a request and I kept on saying tomorrow .. then tomorrow. In my defense it is really raining in the last few days. But Thursday came and it is not raining as hard. Just so we will go he promised that we dont need to buy anything! We just need to bring our own food. 

That we did and were off. Its sunshine and showers the whole day!

But funny enough its only raining when we are inside and it would stop when we are out. As in!

Looking at the intricate Bristol Cathedral Ceiling. He is in the middle center line. Can you see the shiny floor tiles?
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We Need To Talk About Cancer

CANCER. I haven't talked about this with him but I think I need to, now. My son knows. He knows what his father got it (we see the hospital letters envelopes first) and that he might get it, that he needs to be checked soon and he is scared. I reckon when he knows it more, cancer can be scary that you need to be mindful but not scary enough to eat him and take away the fun in his life especially at this age when he is suppose to be thinking of something else like Lego or Minecraft and how on earth are we going to afford Nintendo switch! He should leave the 'being scared' to me. That's a Mum's job!

Needless to say that I am worried. My son has an expiration date it seems. Its so heartbreaking. But I really dont have a choice and power on this one. I didnt know. I have no choice (like all the other aspect of my life) but just to accept it that it will come.

Knowing Cancer is imperative for both of us so that we know what we need to tackle head on in the future. I tried learning it and explaining the science of it to him. What created it. A cell that has gone haywire and maybe faulty genes that he got from me or his father. His father got it from his father who passed away from it. I am no doctor but there is now a pattern in there. There is a chance that he will get it. Big chance. As a baby his colon already showed abnormalities which thank goodness was healed by his own system. I am probably the only Mother who would do a fist pump every time her baby poo. I am very religious about recording his pooing. I panic worry if the days in between are long. Sometimes they really are.  It turned normal. I still am vigilant about this even now. I am still constantly checking. And I do a sigh of relief every time he needs to do number 2. I make sure there's fiber in our meal. As a mother this worries me of course. My life is already complicated as it is, my mind already giving up on the events happening to my marriage and now this?

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Saturday Night Live






We stayed in the whole day today because of the rain. When its night time the rain stopped which is very good because there is a fireworks display at the seafront. When we arrived were suprised that the seafront is empty. Yep the fireworks display is cancelled because of the heavy rain and wind.

We reckon we are there already so I let him roam around and play. He has got so much energy to burn anyways.
I just sat on a wet sea wall waiting for him to get tired.

He is so observant to see how all of the traffic lights at the seafront are green at the same time.
No photos though as I am not very good in capturing the night. But there are lots of pretty light display so its almost as if we actually saw fireworks.
Fireworks that you can see on the ground! Again I wish I am very good in capturing the night time.
Its really pretty with the reflection and colours but I am not so good. But I tried and here it is!

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And here he is playing in our usual spot (we moved as its super windy at the promenade.
This area is nice as its well lighted and the plant covers us from the strong wind.
And after some exploring and seeing things in a different light (geddit =P) we went home tired and ready to attack our dinner!

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I am a daughter, a sister, wife and a mother! I have a son, Sebastian who is born 2010. I am from the Philippines now living here in the UK. This blog is a place where I rant and rave and share pieces of me!


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